This post begins with a story. The story begins years ago. It was a time that cellphones for high schoolers was still a bit shocking, CD’s were still known and sought after, illegal downloading was just beginning, and my adolescent innocence consisted of toilet papering a girls house, late night Del Taco runs, and playing N64 til the wee hours of the morning with my brothers. It was back then that a friendship was forged between two unlikely fellows. 1) A high school senior jock, water-polo stud, aspiring youth pastor, and 2) a nerdy, 110 lb., cocky freshman, that had no idea who he was, was supposed to be, or wanted to be.
This was back in the grand year of 2001. Yes folks, that’s 9, almost 10 years ago. Over the 4 years that followed, the lost and confused geek of a freshman forged a unique friendship with the aspiring pastor. You see, back then that geek [namely: me] needed guidance. I needed the kind of guidance and wisdom that few would be able (and willing) to offer. This was the type of guidance that a father could not give, and a peer was not wise enough for. A mentor was needed. Secrets, questions, jokes, and memories were shared. Much Del Taco was eaten, many shakes at Ruby’s, and countless hours in the car were spent together. I have no doubt that the hours and time invested in my life were such that molded and guided me into the man I am today. I learned patience, persistence, questioning, laughter, wisdom, story-telling, body-boarding, and the ability to say no. I learned the simple lessons that “it’s OK to NOT bomb the ski hill with the rest of the guys for fear of breaking your face off” and the difficult lessons that “sometimes relationships suck and it takes a lot of humility and time to fix it again.”
After high school that mentor became one of my closest friends. So much so that he decided I was worth investing time AND money in. He hired me alongside him to work/learn the High School ministry. Important decisions were discussed with me, delicate projects were entrusted to me, hours and hours of conversation, prayer, BBQing and sleepless nights were spent together. Through that time relationships with were formed, grown, and crumbled to pieces. Through that time lessons were learned, risks taken, and adventures were had. It was an incredible era that brought our friendship into a completely new level. Something that started from a geek and a jock, to a mentor and student, to a boss and employee, had now evolved into a dynamic and real friendship.
Time went on and I left the church. I went on to school, met the girl of my dreams and married her before anybody else could. And in my wedding my friend stood up there with me. His smile (and tears) were some of the brightest in the room. He was proud of his friend. And in his wedding I stood right next to him and shared in one of the greatest moments of his life.
It’s now been a little over a year since that day I stood next to him. Since then we’ve had many adventures and shared countless memories. There has been much change the past few weeks in all our lives. God has been doing some incredible things in both of our families. This weekend I got in a 22 ft., 20,400 lb, yellow Penske truck, and helped my friend move across the country to Tennessee. To be quite honest, it was one of the worst drives I’ve ever had. It was long, rainy, and weighed so heavy on my heart it hurt. I was thrilled to be able to help my friend in ANYTHING he needed (including driving across the country for him) but dreaded the weight and meaning of it. It was the longest 2096.6 miles I’ve ever traveled. Yet at the end of those 37 hours was his Eden. This was the place that God has delicately laid out for my friend and his family, and I was willing to make the drive across the country to ensure that he followed the path that God set for him (also so he wouldn’t get lost on the I-40). After all, that has been our relationship for the past 10 years. He took the time to invest in my life and from that we began a friendship that has grown into something incredibly strong.
So now, here I am in my comfy 1-bedroom apartment with a mountain of laundry waiting to be folded and my wife on her way home. I had left-overs for dinner and just finished an episode of Leverage. I have an incredible job and a degree under my belt. I can’t wait until my bride walks through the door and I can give her the hug I’ve missed out on all day and then snack on the cookies she’ll want to make.
I am thankful for this life I’ve been blessed with and the road that’s led me here. I have no doubt that some of the strongest influence in my life began 10 years ago when the 18-year-old stud water-polo player took under his care a geeky, lost freshman, mentored him through high school, employed him through college, stood with him with he got married, and adventured with him on the long, long, loooooong road that life brought them on.
This isn’t a death post. Nobody died, and there is no need to mourn. My friend lives in Tennessee now. He’s in his Eden, doing the work that God has entrusted to him, and I am living a blessed life in southern California. I do not mourn. I do not weep. I may glisten here and there, and have a slight sniffle. But that is just out of sadness of frequency. I’m not writing an epitaph or giving some speech at the end of something great; this is just a man reflecting on the blessing of guidance, wisdom, and a deep, deep friendship that God has blessed him with.
Brian Lyskoski 